Finding Nelly Page 5

  The two sat and talked for a long time. She’d grown to love everything she knew about him from his letters. But being here now was completely different. She felt charmed by him. He seemed so nervous around her without seemingly being aware of it. It was endearing.

  It hadn’t even been a day, and already Nelly felt like she could truly be herself. Almost like this place was home. It sounded crazy even to her ears, but living a fast-paced life burnt her out, and there was something about being here that relaxed her.

  She was used to being in the papers and having fans, and yet none of that would happen here, nor did she expect it. Did she miss it? Yes and no. She tried to be honest with herself. Nelly couldn’t stop being who she was, and a part of that was constantly being told how much people enjoyed her work. It pleased her to provide value to others. But she saw what caring too much did to other actors. A life of being in the light led to drinking, and worse.

  She knew she’d miss parts of it, but if Simon treated her like he was now, a lady wouldn’t want for anything. His attention would mean everything.

  Nelly was happy. The next two weeks would be quite telling. As they talked and reacquainted themselves from what they knew of each other from writing, the afternoon loosened up for both of them. But something nagged at her, and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  Finally putting it out of her mind, Nelly resigned herself to wondering about it later, and they eventually called it a night. As she excused herself, he walked her up to her door, and right before she entered, she peeked back once more and caught Simon frowning back over his shoulder as he walked away.

  Meeting her eyes, he quickly smiled then tipped his hat. She smiled back, then went inside. What was that about?

  Maybe she imagined it. She needed sleep. It was going to be a long day tomorrow, and for that matter, her whole future was ahead of her.

  She just prayed they both had made the right choice.

  Chapter Nine

  All his life Simon had taken whatever life threw at him. The endless, hard work as a youth on the plantation, the war, even his parent’s untimely death. He handled it all because he had no choice. You could only control for yourself, everything else was outside of that control. It’s what you chose to do with circumstances that defined you.

  Two weeks of seeing Nelly and Simon knew two things for certain: he loved her, and they were as different as different could be. He saw something of himself in her though, the resilience, the patience with others. He recognized that in her and hoped she did so in him as well.

  But for there to be any hope, he figured she’d have to make changes she wasn’t willing to make. Maybe, just maybe, they were kindred spirits. But she had to see her new life as exactly that, a new life. Simon figured out pretty quickly that she thought of those two weeks as some sort of test, some sort of vacation, maybe.

  Whatever it was, he wasn’t sure if he passed or not, but he feared he knew the answer. And could he blame her? She was everything he was not; refined, poised, confident and famous. That last one didn’t bother him, but he knew she couldn’t possibly accept a new life away from the limelight. In her letters, she’d been warm, friendly and encouraging. She seemed to know what she wanted, but now he wasn’t so sure.

  He never let himself believe fully that she could be happy out here, but he didn’t know it until now. It must have been his way to cope, keeping her at bay. A beautiful, intelligent woman like her couldn’t possibly enjoy a life with a regular man like himself.

  The one thing that troubled him was her past. She’d hinted at it plenty, even revealing a little that broke his heart. What troubled him was that he couldn’t see any signs of it. He figured there’d be at least some damage, or some signs of psychological trauma… or something that made her more…human. For she was perfect. Too perfect. And therefore, he knew as the days wore on, beautiful, incredible days in her company, that she would eventually bore of him and his life and return to the excitement of the east.

  He noticed she was growing a little more withdrawn each day. Despite her attempts to be polite and talk about their future together, she seemed to do so less and less, instead moving conversations to other things whenever their potential marriage would come up.

  The day was quickly approaching, and he had to figure out what to do about it. If she had changed her mind, it would break his heart, as he’d fallen for her hard. He knew it after the letters and now was sure of it since she’d come. And yet, he didn’t want to embarrass her either, so he tried to give her ways to back out honorably. For both of them. He wanted to do nothing else but protect her feelings if she had to let him down.

  Growing a little distant himself, if only to protect himself from the hurt, they avoided the obvious conversation the last few days. But Simon being Simon, he decided to consult Mildred to get a woman’s perspective. It couldn’t hurt, and he had to straighten out his thoughts about it all. He’d never been in love before. People could say whatever they wanted to about it all. It wasn’t just the two weeks; it was the months leading up to it, too. He loved her. At least, if it wasn’t love, he didn’t know what love was. And he knew the love could, and would, grow substantially.

  Mildred could help him sort it out. She’d know what to say, or so he hoped. The love and respect he had for Nelly could only deepen with time. But she seemed to be showing signs of reservation. Maybe even regret. He would have to let her go if that’s what she wanted. It made him feel better to know that he even had a shot where most men, or most country men in his position, would have fallen short of such a woman’s attentions. He felt grateful to be chosen at all.

  Mildred, tell me what to do!

  Was she destined to be unhappy for the rest of her life? To never know the love of a man who loved her for her?

  Nelly watched people passing by out the window of her room, reflecting on the last ten days since she’d arrived. Having given up her career to become a bride out west, she wasn’t sure if she’d made a mistake.

  She couldn’t help it. She was in love. Simon was more than she thought a man could be. So why was he growing distant? Did he resent her? Where she came from?

  When she went to the orchards, she managed well, earning compliments from him and Luther. Mildred said she was a natural, but Nelly was sure she mistook a drive to work hard without complaint for a talent she didn’t possess. Had Simon picked up on it? Was he wishing he’d found someone else? She wondered how many had answered his ad and thought it might have been a mistake to think she could make it out west like this. Who just gives up everything to move like she had?

  Someone in love. Or at least someone who’s fooled themselves to thinking they were in love. It could never be that quick. She of all people knew that best. As an actress, some of their shows were about relationships and the trials they went through.

  But it had all been acting, hadn’t it? She’d never experience someone caring for her like she thought Simon wanted to. Or used to want to.

  She didn’t want to let him down, so she’d become withdrawn, allowing herself the last few days to become more reserved around him. It was best for them if she didn’t want to get hurt.

  She already knew hurt. She knew pain. Her life story was one of struggle and a desire to prove one’s self.

  Turning back to sit on the bed, Nelly leaned over and pulled out the letters from her bag, holding them tenderly. Her eyes watered, but she wouldn’t cry. No more. She’d done enough of that.

  She would just put up her usual walls and retreat as needed. Maybe she didn’t know what love was, after all, if this wasn’t it.

  “You’ve been doing what?” said Mildred.

  Simon lifted the pitcher, offering to fill her glass, but she waved it away. They were sitting on his porch after Luther sent her over to talk to him. He’d told his friend he needed her advice, and she was only too happy to do it.

  “Why? Why is that bad?” he asked in return.

  “Simon, I’ve gotten to know her. She’s
perfect for you. Why would you pull away like that?”

  “She’s great on paper. For that matter, she’s perfect in real life, too.”

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  Simon frowned as he watched the sun set. It always took his breath away. Seeing the sun set back home was nothing compared to here. He couldn’t say why, exactly, but it was somehow more, romantic. But that didn’t matter anymore.

  Simon sighed as he looked back at Mildred. “A woman like her could never be happy out here. Or with me. It’s obvious. And I can see her coming to the same conclusions.”

  Mildred looked at him as if she’d never seen him before. “Simon, are you stupid?”

  The words caught him off guard as he choked on his drink.

  “I’m serious. You got rocks in your head? Can’t you tell that woman loves you?”

  “Loves me? She’s made it clear she’s changed her mind. Not that she ever loved me to begin with.”

  Once again she gave him that look, then shook her head and laughed to herself. “You men are really clueless, aren’t you?”

  “What are you getting at, Mil? I mean,” now he was getting annoyed, “for crying out loud, you and Luther are perfect for each other, and got off right from the start.”

  Now it was Mildred’s turn to let out a long breath. “I don’t know what you’re seeing, or think you’re seeing, Simon. But that woman is smitten with you. And she has no desire to return to her former life.”

  Simon studied her carefully. “How can you be so sure?”

  “Simon, first, I’ve spoken with her. Second, I’m a woman, remember?”

  “But what about—?”

  “What about nothing. Whatever you gotta straighten in your head, do it now. As far as I’m concerned, you two, sure, while different, are more alike than either of you know. And whatever you think you know, you’re wrong. Trust me. Put it out of your head. But I’m gonna tell you,” she said, leaning in and resting her arms on her knees, “figure it out now, because if you’ve been giving her signals like that, you might just push her away.”

  Simon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Finally, he spoke up. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  Simon knew what to do. It was time to—what did they say? Time to break a leg.

  Nelly rode out to the orchard with Simon. Once again, he looked nervous. But he also looked beautiful. Sun-darkened face, muscles under his shirt, strong jawline. It was hard not to stare. But more than that, he was a truly good man. It was a pity she knew what was coming.

  When she’d left the city, she never truly entertained the idea it wouldn’t work out. Both of them had expressed warmth and eventually even affection in the letters. There had definitely been sparks when they had first met in person.

  But she was scheduled to be his bride in a few days if all went well. And that was the problem. She steeled herself for the conversation that was surely coming.

  Simon pulled up to Luther and Mildred’s cottage at the end of the orchard, stopping a moment before going inside and telling her he’d be back in a minute if she didn’t mind. She smiled politely, and he went in.

  When he came back out, he was carrying something under a blanket, but she couldn’t see what it was. Perplexed, she watched him place it into the back of the wagon and then they were off again. They cut across a field and she admired how fast his work was paying off, seeing new growth already since she’d been there. Simon had already procured business from those wanting his produce. She admired him.

  He took a route she wasn’t familiar with, and as it was late in the day, she wondered how far they were going. Eventually he took the wagon to the base of a low rise on his property and beckoned her down as he offered his hand.

  Curious what he was up to, she followed him up the hill which, upon walking it, wasn’t as small as she first thought. Nearly out of breath, they eventually came upon the crest of the hill. Whatever breath she had left was stolen from her as she took in the incredible and beautiful view.

  From the top they had an all-encompassing view of the orchard below and to the fields and valleys beyond. The sunset made the sky a rich blanket of reds and oranges, like nothing she’d ever seen before. The moment was awe inspiring, and suddenly she lost all fear, and turned to face him.

  “Simon, I want to tell you, these past few weeks, whatever you may have felt, I—”

  “Nelly, please, let me go first. If that’s okay?”

  She merely nodded, ready to accept whatever he said.

  But before he continued, he took the blanket off what looked like a picnic basket, and laid it on the ground, flattening it out so there was room for them both to sit. He gestured, and confused, she did.

  Then he opened the basket and pulled out a spread of delicious meats and cheeses, two glasses, and a bottle of wine, setting it beside them. Wine?

  “I can’t offer much,” he said, “at least not much in the way of what you’re used to. But ever since I laid eyes on you at the station, I knew the sight matched the beauty of the letters. Luther would kill me for talking like this, but it’s true. I fell for you, Nelly. I fell for you hard.”

  “But I thought…”

  He looked at her, waiting patiently.

  “Go on,” he prodded.

  “I didn’t think you cared. You’ve been more distant lately. I couldn’t figure it out.”

  He looked immediately relieved, mumbling something about ‘she’s actually right’ before looking up at her, smiling. “I’ve wanted to make you my wife from day one. If you’ll have me.”

  “If I’d have you?” she said, momentarily stunned.

  “But I thought that—” he said.

  “But I thought—” she said at the same time.

  They both laughed. Then she looked at the sunset once more, and Simon followed suit. “I’m prone to depression. And I can’t predict what will happen with me. I’m not deserving of love. I’m sure because I always felt my mother could have fought more to stay sober for me. But I understand now.”

  Simon just watched her thoughtfully. “And I,” he said, “come from a long line of terrible luck. Misfortune, loss of fortune, even death haunts me more than others. I could die of a heart attack before long. Who knows?”

  They both looked at each other. They had revealed their pasts in some degree, finding comfort in being honest with each other. At least it had been for her. And she suspected—now—that it was the same for him.

  “Mildred told me we were perfect for each other.”

  “She said that?” asked Nelly.

  “And more. That we were two ‘wounded souls’ who could be the piece to complete the other’s puzzle. Or something like that. All I know is she’s right, that you’ve been what I’ve been missing, and I never knew it until I met you.”

  The words struck her. Once again, Simon proving he was more unlike anyone she’d ever met before. And she loved him for it.

  “I’m in love with you, Nelly. It almost hurts. I can’t stop thinking of you. Day or night, you’re in my thoughts.”

  “For me, too, Simon. I want this life. I want you. I want a life with you.”

  Simon smiled at her, his face alight in the setting of the sun. But she thought it was more than that. He was beaming. She knew it, because she felt the same thing on her own face.

  “Living on a farm like this… you can see yourself giving it all up for this?”

  “I would give up anything to have you in my life. I’ve never been more sure of anything. I love you, too, Simon.”

  They looked at each other, enjoying the silence between them, not only no longer uncomfortable, but intimate. It was a feeling she could grow used to. Simon poured some wine, and she took the glass from him. His hand lingered on hers, and she didn’t pull away.

  “Can I tell the hotel I won’t be coming back at some point?” she asked nervously

  “That depends,” he said slyly.

  “Depends on what?” she asked.


  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. “Nelly, will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?”

  Nelly yelped, leaping to throw her arms around him. They held on tightly to each other, squeezing hard until she finally pulled back. His nearness was intoxicating, and she paused, looking at his mouth and back to his eyes.

  Simon was doing the same. And she closed her eyes as he leaned in, and his warm lips met hers, untold passion at the softest touch, where he lingered before finally pulling away.

  Her eyes still closed, Nelly suddenly opened them to see him looking at her, and she realized her mouth was still parted, and her heart was beating fast.

  “Is that a yes?” he said, somewhat breathlessly himself.

  “Yes, I’ll marry you, Simon. I want nothing more.”

  And this time when he leaned in, she kissed back, until finally, they pulled away again. Turning to look back at the beautiful view, she leaned her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her and drew her close.

  Thoughts of her past flooded her. All those years of uncertainty, the recent year of working… It all clicked suddenly. Up until now, she’d felt alone but always thought she wanted it, at first to take care of her mother, and in recent months to take care of herself. But now she knew. She knew she was meant for a life with someone like Simon. No, she was meant for Simon, and she told him as much.

  “I feel the same way,” he said. “I can’t explain it, but it’s as if I found something that I didn’t know was missing. You make me feel right. Sorry,” he smiled. “That’s the only way I know how to put it.”

  “Don’t be. I think God connected us. And now we can be there for each other, for the rest of our lives.”

  And together they sat in silence, knowing they’d found what each of them had been looking for their whole lives.